Is your client stuck?
Posted by richard on 06 Feb 2007 at 1:37 pm | Tagged as: "How to" coach tips
I am willing to bet that the majority of clients believe; “If only I knew what to do next, I would do it”. Progressing toward success really comes down to confidence and self - trust. Self trust is a great topic - area of focus - for your coaching.
Capacity is already there:
Most of your clients are on the right track and do have the capacity to make the progress they wish for. The starting point for you as coach is to check out their perspective on their own capacity and potential. Make them both very clear. The problem is never capacity.
The second factor that needs to be understood is the process of personal development (getting new and better results) When people see the process it is much easier to progress. Get all the elements (steps) of the development process down on a sheet of paper so you can “demo” it. When your client has this ‘template” it is much easier to deal with the doubts, fears, uncertainty, and lack of confidence - any of which will stop progress quickly. When you have no “grow” template nearby, the doubts seem more natural/comforting than does the potential.
Here is the ideal cycle:
First the client is inspired to create or change something. It must begin with a desire - the client is provoked to move forward.
Second this inspiration creates good feelings and energy - a true breath of fresh air. So far, so good. (feelings motive, not simply ideas)
Third. The feeling moves the client to take action. The action creates more positive feelings. The rule is that every desire must translate to action if you want to see results. Inspiration by itself does not count for much.. Action counts. No matter how small the action, it will increase the good feeling and the forward movement. Progress has begun.
Fourth: Small actions (any actions) lead to bigger challenges. This is good news because these bigger challenges force/facilitate growth. If the end vision is still in mind, the actions become stepping stones and a lot more enjoyable.
The stumble point:
The breakdown occurs at step three. When clients do not know what to do or if they simply take action, the process reverses itself. With no action, the good feeling from being inspired fades. Next the inspirations goes. The client is right back where they started. When you go around this circle enough, you doubt your capability. Ugh.
Main point:
On-going progress requires several elements. Help your client decide the interdependence and the impact progress of these six
- Desire or aspiration
- Need for self-trust that you can discover/learn what to do next
- Need for some level of day-to-day action
- Willingness to act even though results are not certain
- Scan for, find, and develop growing self-confidence in this process (forget the results –master the process)
- Need for measurable progress (any measures you choose) to keep the desire alive
Why not coach small steps?
I do not believe that you can dump all of this on a person at one or two sittings. It is just too much to absorb or apply. it much better fro you to go to where you think the issue is and start there — i.e. take the reverse of any of the above bullets. You can introduce all of the elements over time. Since they all interplay and work together, eventually you will have to cover all of them.
Can you herlp by sharing how you handle the client who doesn’t seem to know what to do next? It is a good topic to discuss.
Best regards, Richard
Powered by Qumana